refactor ref change watching

refactor ref change watching

Added to change notification to P2P protocol.

Switched to a TBChan so that a single long-running thread can be
started, and serve perhaps intermittent requests for change
notifications, without buffering all changes in memory.

The P2P runner currently starts up a new thread each times it waits
for a change, but that should allow later reusing a thread. Although
each connection from a peer will still need a new watcher thread to run.

The dependency on stm-chans is more or less free; some stuff in yesod
uses it, so it was already indirectly pulled in when building with the
webapp.

This commit was sponsored by Francois Marier on Patreon.